dan saya bosen sama keadaan yang nggak pernah berenti – berenti kaya gitu terus, mintanya materi sama teori. MATERI DAN TEORI. satu hal yang nggak mungkin bisa memuaskan hati. ironis.

lalu saya memutuskan untuk .. pergi.

ehem, maaf ya saya bukan tukang kabur. maksudnya saya mau nge kost. maka rencananya saya pindahlah ke sebuah kost-an putri di jalan Bali.  RENCANANYA. namun karena sulit sekali untuk ngemeng (itu jangan di tiru juga, you sucks you know?) jadi saya sekarang sedang mengumpulkan iman (cieila) buat ngemeng sama mereka.

lebih susah daripada menggoda bu hermin untuk tidak mengajar hari ini.

resikonya bukan diceramahi, saya udah punya imun buat yang itu. dicibir? bukan, masih terlalu kuat. ditampar? hah cetek. dimarahi? lebih susah nahan pipis.

namun ketika ditanya alasan kenapa mau kost saya bakal diam

karena, nggak ada teori buat yang namanya memperbaiki kehidupan, dan mereka nggak mau ngedenger CURHATAN BABI tentang ‘saya takut ada di rumah’ atau ‘saya muak di rumah’ mereka butuh teori. dan saya nggak bisa plas plos ngemeng ‘ mungkin saya bisa lebih mandiri dilatih karena nanti sendiri bla bla bla bla’ karena semuanya bullshit.

semuanya hanya karena satu alasan,

di rumah, saya tidak akan pernah berkembang.

maaf saya bikin kamu nangis. dan sekarang makasih bisa bikin hidup saya jalan lagi kaya biasanya, dan kalau kamu ragu, asal kamu tau saya nggak bakal nyerah sama kamu. memperjuangkan apa yang udah saya rusak.

berjuta maaf dan terimakasih buat kamu disana yang udah bikin saya appear ketika saya invisible.

yang bikin hati saya sakit meringis kalo kamu deket sama saya, tapi asal kamu tau, saya gitu karena saya nyadar saya salah. makasih udah mau jadi beberapa page chapter yang bikin klimaks di cerita saya yang kosong. maaf buat semua kata – kata yang childish, buat emosian, buat plin-plan, buat pesimis-an, buat berantem di depan orang banyak. maaf udah berpikiran negatif. maaf buat juteknya. makasih udah bisa bikin saya berdoa buat orang lain dalam doa shalat saya, This none about all gloom and agony, its my feeling who depressed, tortured, by guilt.

makasih buat semua sikap kamu yang ‘kamu’

kamu berhasil bisa membongkar semua rahasia saya, dalam sekejap membutakan mata saya, membuat saya marah, malu, seperempat mili sekon menjadi bengis, lalu sedih, menyesali diri, meneteskan air mata dan menghancurkan definisi seorang ‘saya’ dan tiba tiba sekarang saya bertekuk lutut dihadapan kamu, meminta maaf buat segalanya, bikin saya introspeksi, saya ga boleh gini lagi sama orang lain, kalau nggak mau kena karmanya. makasih juga buat itu, saya bener – bener takjub sama kamu. kamu nggak pergi gitu aja, benci sama saya kaya yang lain terus yu dadah bye bye kaya angin lalu. kamu ngasih saya pelajaran yang nggak bakal saya lupain seumur hidup, bersalah.

ngeliat kamu sakit saya juga ikutan sakit.

sekarang, makasih kamu udah baik banget. saya sendiri nggak tau kenapa alesan kamu ngelakuin itu, yang jelas saya seneng banget. kalau kita semua seneng, alhamdulillah, mudah mudahan kamu nggak kepaksa ngelakuin itu semua. saya bisa ngelanjutin hidup saya sekarang, berkat kamu. makasih yaa

makasih buat kamu yang kamu

maaf atas saya yang saya

regards,

orang-yang-sangat-mau-jadi-first-list-bestfriend-di-facebook-kamu-dan-chapter-chapter-senang-atau-sedih-kamu-berikutnya

riska

1.     Stand on the Great Wall.

2.     See an opera at La Scala in Milan.

3.     Ride in a gondola down the Grand Canal in Venice

4.     Learn to speak French.

5.    Marry.

6.     Write and sell a book.

7.     Wish upon a shooting star.

8.     Fly to another state for a day, and come back home.

9.     Kiss a complete stranger on New Years.

10.  Show patience with young children.

11.  Visit the Pyramids of Egypt.

12.  Go white water rafting.

13.  Save money and buy something just for myself.

14.  Give a compliment to someone that I don’t usually like.

15.  Become a good listener.

16.  Experience (firsthand) the birth of a child.

17.  Bungee jump over a river in New Zealand.

18.  Go deep-sea fishing and eat my catch.

19.  Go up in a hot-air balloon.

20.  Attend one really huge rock concert.

21.  Grow a garden.

22.  Find a job I love

23.  Shower in a waterfall

24.  Write the novel I know I have inside me.

25.  Be the boss.

26.  Learn to ballroom dance properly.

27.  Own a room with a view

28.  Tell someone the story of my life, sparing no details.

29.  Be an extra in a film.

30.  Spend a whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty.

31.  Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.

32.  Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure you use it.

33.  Throw a huge party and invite every one of my friends.

34.  Have my portrait painted.

35.  Swim with a dolphin.

36.  Skydive

37.  Lie in bed an entire day.

38.  Practice meditation.

39.  Play amusing song in a grand piano concert

40.  Kiss someone hot

41.  Wear J-Style and walk around the crowd

42.  See sunset/sunrise on Kuta Beach (Visit Bali)

43.  Spend more than 10million rupiah’s on one shopping

44.  Do a job while teenager

45.  Flare a gun

46.  Had a dog

47.  Own myself the best entertainment at my bedroom

48.  Be a good chef

49.  Have 100 SMS in one day (asking how are you, from different person)

50.  Got no miss a pray in whole life, until I died 

“mmmmhhh”

“….”

“apa aja kan?”

“he-eh”

“chocolate BLACKBERRY” –> gw dijitak, ngakak!

“mau jadi putih”

“……..”

*ngakak* “apaan tuh white day?”

“tadinya mau dimasukin 3-3nya, tapi tas kamu penuh. yaudah dimasukin 1 kardus doang.”

“…”

“ultah ato valentine?”

“ultahnya tanggal 14 februari”

“bikin album foto, lu jadi badut.”

“oh heueuh ya, pinter kamu wo.”

“hidungnya kasih warna merah”

“ah susah.”

“bola pingpong belah 2″

“oh heueuh ya, pinter kamu wo”

“kasih cincin”

“udah pernah”

“pas lagi ultah ato valentine?”

“pas waktu berapa bulaaaaan gitu poho.”

“emang udah berapa bulan?”

“sepuluh gitu? poho”

“kasih bunga udah pernah?”

“oh heueuh ya, pinter kamu wo. ajak kemana ya wo?”

“ke boscha, liat bintang.”

“oh heueuh ya, pinter kamu wo.”

“tau jalannya?”

“engga”

“ehh”

“ wowo tau nggak wo?”

“engga, ke bukit bintang aja belum pernah”

“ke hotel panghegar aja gitu ya?”

“ngapain? check in?”

“iya dong”

“anjir, beli ‘BALON’ ga?”

“ah sia deui, ke atasnya doang wo liat bintang.”

“adeuh romantis.”

“si **** pernah gitu ya wo?”

“pernah apa?”

“pernah gitu”

“gitu gimana”

“gitu gitu”

“gitu gitu gimana?”

“album, badut, bunga, cincin, bintang?”

“hahahahahaha”

dengan rangking saya yang super butut saya nggak yakin kalau IQ saya diatas 100,

paling gede juga 90, pikir saya

eh taunya ngahahahahaha, sialan edan seneng banget masuk unggul euy yeaaaaaayyy !

prioritas pertama saya dianjurin sama hasil psikotes untuk masuk IPS, (ngek bakat) dan kedua IPA ! Lalu untuk kelanjutan pendidikan saya nantinya ternyata hasil anjuran hasil psikotesnya adalah Ekonomi, Perbankan, Perawatan, Medis, Teknik, dan Pertanian (maksudnya gw disuruh kuliah nyawah??) hahahaha

Gila dong itu Perawatan dan Medis, serius gue nggak akan salah ngasih antiserum nantinya? haha, nggak nyangka, ckckck. padahal kerjaan saya tiap hari main viwawa lagi main viwawa lagi. haaaaaah, benar benar magikal. saya masih merem melek, masih nggak percaya sampai sekarang.

pokonya asoy laaaaaaaaahhhh !!! hebring !!!!

sama hasil kepribadiannya juga saya cukup puas (sebenernya puas banget banget), yeaaahh !!

What makes someone special?

Its 90% on the outside, cause we could see inside from the outside, who the hell want to look the ‘inside’ of someone who dressed like mad people?

Some wise, yeah. They are starring at them, watching them, admiring, until someday they’ll find something special on that someone-who-dressed-like-mad-people, and then the wise start falling in love. Now the outside doesn’t matter anymore, cause they’ve seen, something deeper—more than looks, they’ve seen the chemistry.

But then again, the wise people are never reach ¼ of the world.

What makes the chemistry?

Well, its not faith. Maybe it trusts. Definitely not LOVE, cause LOVE shows after the chemistry comes, then what makes chemistry?

Lately I’m thinking and um—would you believe in hard work? Don’t event think about destiny yet,

Wise girl ever said

‘Even if you had a good destiny come, but you never work at it, you’ll never got THAT GOOD DESTINY, something you do to work on—bring the other destiny will come. Example you work on study, the destiny is succeeds, or—you’re not studying, you’re at home and sleeping all day, you’ve got satisfied, but the SUCEED DESTINY would not come, only the satisfied destiny after you woke up, that’s all.’

‘Different with destiny, faith cannot be work at. Example, you do study, you work hard, every night. The other day at the test, you’re sick, you cannot pass the test. Faith it’s just the luck, you can’t change it. But always remember this, god knows—you deserve something better. You’ll got something good after the bad things, it always be. Trust me.’

So what’s the line? What’s the connection?

Here it is… good destiny needs hard work. And I think chemistry needs hard work. So the chemistry is the good, I mean great destiny right? Didn’t believe yet uh?

1.     The looks

2.     The date

3.     The flirt

4.     The present

5.     The moment

6.     The chat

7.     The kiss

8.     The control

9.     The emotion

10. The trust

You think it just came along, its a usually things and blah blah blah? Or do you think it just a reaction from your nerve—and no need to think?

Am I right to say that you are need to think before you do that, make a lot of sweat, your hand shake, strong heartbeat, hard breathtaking, before you do the first happy birthday kiss to your lover? Or holding hands for the flirt? The moment you say I miss you? How about the café you reserved for tonight’s date? How the environment looks, how’s the food, the service?

You would work hard for your lover smile,

For the chemistry.

Definitely one hundred percent sure,

Oh I forget this thing,

One term of hard work and think thing,

You should love ‘em

: D

Right so you see I just made a joke of all these, chemistry is not that simple.

A ‘though fullness’

And think think think, what makes they deserve you so much so you apparently able to do anything for them.

Don’t take too much feeling—it damn hurts. It’s subjective, cause I’m a girl, who needs to made my self a wise decisions before doing something.

All right, straight to the point !

He’d nice, know that I spending my self-being an invisible bitch. Like the tech but adoring nature so much, I do music at glance, and prefer do some karate and walking down the streets than walk along the mall.

He enjoy the nature too, join some Pecinta Alam Club in his school, last moth he climb the Gunung Batu while he did his execution time, uh oh, no, its his audition time and it’s a joy of me to hear that he accepted. He do some mechanics, he built up his motorcycle machines, join *** organization, sometimes he come and stick around in a stand near my school, I’ll met him every Friday cause *** organization had a meeting, every Friday, in a stand, near my school.

He had moustaches

He had a big body, but not fat because he is tall.

He drove big motorcycle

Crazy, definitely odd, silly, and FREAK. But wait until he singing happy birthday to me, he sounds like cough Frank Sinatra,

Not very good enough to hear, but still adoring.

He is rough, but wait until he touched my hair on Saturday night.

He is embarrassing, rude, and a smoker, but he’ll keep smell nice around me, comb his hair while waiting I come and put on nice clothes to make him look nice next to me. Then we’ll be the freakiest couple on that night, with a same ‘love’ tie dye shirts and blue jeans, also same white shoes. Playing poker with both legs on the table.

Drinking the same mineral water cause didn’t have much money to bought 2 drinks.

Watching the DVD’s using the infocus.

Drink milk while laugh, and split those milk from the nose. Yuck!

Give each other a poetry.

Tell everything.

Quiet when there’s a problem, say sorry.

And that convincing smile.

Every silly not-so-romantic-itchy-words.

its odd, but.. i don’t know, you’ll get some self satisfaction from it. from those thing. its freak, one hundred percent freak !! but… but i told you, it sweet.

yeah, its sweet.